Forgiveness
Forgiveness is celebrated as a one of the great virtues. It is something particularly celebrated in Christianity and Christian societies, and notably the asking of the forgiveness of our own sins and the encouragement of our own forgiveness of others’ is part of the Lord’s Prayer, a definitive part of Christianity as well as throughout Christian scripture. Nevertheless, forgiving is often easier said than done. We have all struggled to forgive both others and ourselves and we live in an era which is not conducive to forgiveness.
We live in a modern, neoliberal world where the individual must be as independent, productive, and efficient as possible. In this era, we are all essentially in competition with one another; in competition for places at university, jobs, promotions, relationships, the list goes on. Thus, our competitive world leaves little time for errors and therefore reflection and forgiveness. To make mistakes is a weakness and to acknowledge and dwell on them exacerbates that weakness. Likewise, genuine forgiveness — both the giving of it and receipt of it — requires time for reflection and a degree of candour that I do not believe many people think they have time for in this age. This is not a criticism of the people of today, rather it is an observation on how the contemporary world has rendered the human condition; constantly forward-facing. This is not to say that I believe looking forward and moving past your past mistakes, trials, and tribulations is a bad thing, rather I believe the opposite. What I do believe is that in order to move forward in our lives, we must make peace with our pasts.
One common misrepresentation of forgiveness is that it is somehow weak, both in the forgiveness of others and in the asking of forgiveness of your own actions. Regarding the acknowledgement of our own mistakes, this harks back to what I have mentioned about the highlighting of our own flaws, something we seem to have a constant tendency to avoid. In regards to the former, the forgiveness of others, a different issue is often at hand. In situations which require forgiveness such as breakups and the ending of friendships and business ventures, oftentimes both parties feel that the other is to blame, or a situation arises where one or both feel culpable but neither feel able or feel the need to admit to that. These situations of mutual ill will can make forgiveness harder to come by due to the often grey area of who specifically is at fault. The purpose of me writing this however, is not to tell you who and what to forgive, rather, I want to demonstrate the power of it. I must now say that my writing of this is coming from an unabashedly Christian perspective which I appreciate may not be your perspective, but I feel that the spiritual dimension to my understanding of the power of forgiveness has arisen from a inherently Christian angle and it would be insincere of me not to approach my writing of this from that perspective.
Being able to take all your hurt, rationalise it, and share it with God is something very powerful and anyone who can do that is courageous and doing what God urges us to do. God forgives all and He wants us to try our best to do the same. Being a Christian, I have this imperative to forgive. Even when I don’t particularly want to, I know I ought to. Now this doesn’t mean that I instantly produce platitudes saying I’ve forgiven and forgotten when I haven’t, it is more that when I feel like I can’t, I put the time in to work out why. I work this out through thought and prayer and while it is not instantaneous and is not always easy, I know it is what I must do.
I believe Jesus Christ died for our sins — mine, yours, everyone’s — and I believe this unequivocally. As such, I understand the beauty, power, and liberation that comes from forgiveness. I understand and respect that this is not everyone’s belief, but I hope and pray that people can find what gives them their mandate for forgiveness. We are all worthy of receiving forgiveness and equally none of us are above forgiving others and when we come to understand this, it is truly liberating.
