How small-c conservatism made me a happier person
My political journey has been a long (and admittedly convoluted) one. Over the years, I have subscribed to a patchwork of different ideologies and philosophies, many of which varied and do not seem obviously linked. The one thing they all have in common, however, is they are socially-minded. I have always been a bit of a bleeding-heart when it comes to the welfare of others, both in regards to my politics and in regards to my personal relationships and for that reason, one ideology I never countenanced was conservatism. That was until a few years ago.
Conservatism means different things to different people and is far from a monolith. My personal understanding of conservatism now at is its core is Burkean; a conservatism that understands that both tradition and liberty have a place within society and that those needn’t be mutually exclusive. Before my own research into conservatism however, my perception was of a much more individualistic ideology and I was in fact conflating it in many ways with classical liberalism and this was something with which my outlook was incompatible.
As someone who was — and very much still is — a believer in the importance of family, community, and regional and national identities, I had definitely gravitated towards the left. But over the years, I felt increasingly at odds with the left on a number of issues and I began to delve further into conservatism — both small-c and big-c. As my alienation with the left intensified, I eventually adopted both conservatism as my philosophy and the Conservatives as my party. Nevertheless, I continued mulling over where my worldview did and did not compliment my new political commitments. One aspect I gave a good deal of thought to was individualism and its place within conservatism.
Before my forays into conservatism, the words ‘personal responsibility’ conjured images in my mind of an individualistic, Rand-esque society where the individual and his achievement was paramount before all else and this was the kind of society I associated with conservatism. However, the more thought I gave to it, the more I realised that one can — and ought to — practice personal responsibility as a small-c conservative in a socially-minded manner.
This first struck when I was thinking about the very mundane topic that is my recycling. This led me to thinking about the environment more generally. When I was a leftist, I was very much of the understanding that climate change was a substantial problem that governments had a responsibility to tackle and that they were not tackling it effectively. Now, while in general I still agree with that sentiment, a major change has occurred; before, I personally did not take particular care in recycling or conserving energy because I felt the state and international community had the responsibility to confront the environmental problems facing the world, and that my actions as individual were next to futile. But as I became a small c-conservative, my view of this began to change. I began to understand that regardless of how much or how little the state was acting on any issue, that I had the power as an individual to contribute to better. Thus, I began to put effort into understanding what can and cannot be recycled and I became more conscious of my use of energy and water. This is just one small and slightly trivial example, but it does highlight the ways in which taking responsibility for one’s own actions is something which can be beneficial for his society.
On a more personal level, embracing responsibility has been a boon for my own well-being. Prior, I blamed many of my problems on external factors; if I didn’t get into the university I wanted, it was because I went to a low-performing school. If I didn’t get the job I wanted, it was because I didn’t get into the university I wanted. Obviously, this is kind of thinking is at best unproductive and at worst harmful. It allows oneself to get into a cycle of annoyance with ‘society’ or some other external factors and allows one to blame those for all and any problems faced. However, when I accepted responsibility for both my shortcomings and my areas of ability, I found that not only was I better at learning from my mistakes, I was an all-round happier person; I stopped being bitter at a world which supposedly was the only thing holding me back from the goals I wanted to achieve and instead embraced the opportunity to improve upon myself.
This is why to me, personal responsibility is empowering. By accepting responsibility for my life, I have been able to see clearly how I actually want it to be and importantly how to get there. When we blame the state, or society, or whomever or whatever else for our problems, we don’t allow ourselves the opportunity to actually take stock and plan ahead. Whereas before when something didn’t go my way, my reaction would be, “this didn’t go the way it should have, and this is why I should be angry”, now when I reach a hurdle in life I think, “this didn’t go the way I wanted it to, what can I do differently going forward?”.
After embracing my own responsibilities, I really began to reflect upon my commitments to my family, my church, my university, and all areas of my life and I began to really appreciate them. Rather than being perfunctory, routine parts of my life, I began to take ownership of them. I began to understand what they really meant to me and why I did them which made me see the beauty in them and get so much more enjoyment out of them.
Overall, my outlook on life has improved as I have embraced the power of my own responsibility. I understand that I can utilise my skills to help myself and those around me, and I also see the world in a fundamentally more positive way. Before, I saw the world around me an excuse for my shortcomings whereas now I see the world around me as something I belong to and have ownership of, and this has made me a more fulfilled and happier person.
